Ava

I was convinced Ava was a boy. at first - cause i had these glimpses and images of blue - of a fierce warrior- free and wild - - the day we found out she was a girl i was shocked! and then suddenly the picture from the Lord came into focus...

• Fiercely Brave: passionate, ardent, unrestrained, facing the world courageously
• Wild: growing untamed, extravagantly unconformed
• Sweet & Graceful: kind gracious - pleasing to Her God, elegant - free,  favored

* it was Palm Sunday, and I was laying in bed getting ready to get up and lead worship at church... my water broke! At 35 weeks along! i was running around calling the doctor and my parents &  dan was calmly sitting by the door waiting for me haha. we drove to the hospital in the rain- he even stopped form coffee!! and all i could hear beating in my ears and heart was "fierce and brave... warrior"

After laboring for 26 hours at the hospital and a failed epidural - with Dan cracking jokes about wiping my brow.. I laughed and pushed our first miracle into the world. She was a warrior from the beginning.. Dan held her for moments then she was whisked away to the nicu where she spent 3 long weeks learning to breathe outside air and suck. I didn't get to hold her for 3 days! But when i did- pure love washed over us. 

We named her AVA : "free like a bird" & I speak the words the Lord gave me over her everyday - "Fierce, Brave Warrior" and call her a sweet nickname to remind myself & her that warriors are also fragile and delicate and sweet. 

She loves to hear her birth story, especially that part where she came into the world cause i was laughing so hard....and as she finds her way - working out the quirks of her autism spectrum disorder - I see her confidence in who God calls her to be growing. And i see every year more and more how those words fit her so perfectly.

She's my girl in the dream with a bow and arrow- wild and free. 

 ( baby number 2 is next! story is only beginning - to be continued! )

*as always - un edited with a serious lack of regard for spelling - punctuation - capitalization and grammar sorry mom!  - most likely written on my phone in kindergarten pick up line)